What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”